Today I had the amazing opportunity to hear Andrew McCarthy speak about his book The Longest Way Home: One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down. He was at a hotel near my home.
When I was 15 I was "in love" with him (or at least his character in Pretty in Pink). I faithfully watched several other movies that came later...Weekend at Bernie's and Mannequin (among others). I also saw TV shows like Lipstick Jungle. Honestly, I have never been one of those rabid fans. I would just amusingly continue to run into his work (and like it).
Plus, I'm addicted to travel magazines. I can recall seeing a Conde Nast (I've long been a subscriber) article with Andrew McCarthy byline. I wondered if it was the same guy. Indeed it was. He now has a great travel book out about visiting several places - trying to reconcile his personal sense of push-pull, in-out the tangle of his life. The book is intriguing in the great places he has visited and the unique stories that evolve in each of those cities.
Hearing him speak about travel has only further driven a desire in my heart to go places to experience places. Several of the nuggets of wisdom he imparted were so close to my own personal beliefs. I can attest truth to many of the statements he made. One, that as a writer (or a student of life) it is those unexpected moments when something does not actually go as planned that become the most entertaining and re-told stories. (Ask me one day about the Parisian coffee I had with my mom and sister). That traveling alone is one of the most eye-opening times, where you really need to trust those around you. I find that when I travel alone I am more open to speaking with and learning about those around me. If I am traveling with a friend, it is easy to stay within the conversational circle of that one friend rather than meeting new people.
But by and far the statement he made that most stuck with me was "turn your passions into professions." While I do have education and ''training" in a certain profession, it is writing that helps me to express myself. It is travel that lights my fire. I have been able to have a bit of both - I write weekly. I travel often. I am excited to make world citizens of my kids.
Cheers to agreeing with my girlhood crush - and getting to meet him as well!
my hands are Orange. i didn't realize it until it was too late.i thought the days of turning my body other colors was over when i used qt in high school. my friend Melissa would come over to my house to get ready in the morning.complete with make up a change of clothes and ready to shave get legs (what nethanderal parent doesn't let their kid shave in high school?)
but today - i am an adult. i have gone to tanning salons before this is not my first trip there. i had a coupon for a free spray tan. in my haste to escape the sales pitch, i hustled out of the store. i went about my day. and as I'm laying here in need i realize for the first time today that i didn't take the time to really wash my hands. they are Orange like QT. that reminds me I'm almost out of shave cream and i miss Melissa. i better call her tomorrow.
I must admit. I am a bargain hunter extraordinarre. I love when I can get something for free. I relish in talking my way in to parties where I have not been invited - (it somehow makes it more exciting to me) or asking for an upgrade and receiving it.
I have no right to do so. Most of the time I can just talk my way into things - or go into that party like I belong there. I am a chameleon. I can fit in with just about any crowd and act like I actually belong there.
So I find it sort of humorous that my friend has taken to calling it "pulling a Gretchen" when she has been able to get something not really believing herself worthy of (namely an upgrade in a nice hotel room and a meal) or when my parents couldn't wait to call me when they meandered their way into a private company party at the Colorado Rockies Home Opener - where they were treated to a spread of food and drinks.
They knew I would say that I'm proud of them when they called. But it was not just me - I learned it from my dad. He has an amazing ability to fit in wherever and whenever with whomever. They were proud to call me - but I am proud to fit in just like my dad taught me. He taught me so well he doesn't even remember that it was him teaching me this skill - because I've perfected it now.
It is sort of funny to me how life has taken on so many twists and turns. I rather pride myself in the idea that when I set my mind to something - I somehow doggedly figure out a way to make it happen.
But then in the time that I have been trying so hard to make something happen - life happened. In that I am sort of awed at what I have been able to accomplish and when I take the time to review what I still have to do I know that I have the life I was meant to have.
My kids are becoming such amazing people. I am wondering if I really did have anything to do with that - or if that is just who they are. Are they just the amazing people they are because that is what drive them and I find pride in what they do?
Sometimes reading about someone else's life, brings a spotlight on my own. I am happy with where I am. Bringing me to every situation and being in the moment for what it is.
Why are life's biggest questions never answered - but rather, lead to more questions?
I have a friend who literally takes life as it is delivered to her. She is the ultimate in Gypsy lifestyle and flying by the seat of her pants. Friends come and go. Places to stay for the night come and go.
I can't seem to wrap my head around if I like that lifestyle or not. I both envy and abhor the idea of letting life hit you full force.
There are several things that I have been able to do just because the timing was right or it sounded like fun for the moment. I never veered very far from the "norm" for me. I never did anything that was on the edge of being unlawful or anything like that - just deciding to go to a party with someone I didn't know or going to an event...Some of which would be an absolute no-no to my "perfect" sister. Who married, had 2.5 kids, dog and virtually a white-picket fence life.
But this morning, while I was in the shower (I do my best thinking/meditating in the shower). I was struck by the idea that my mom always worried about the peer groups my sister and I aligned ourselves with - to make sure they were good and "going somewhere in their lives." I recall the motto of the boyscouts (although not being a boy - I was never in. Nor was a good girlscout for the whole 2 months I was in that), "Be Prepared."
Which led me (in thought) to my friend. What I think exhilarates me about her life is that she does not let an opportunity pass. She is willing to take crazy risks. But she is no more in a spot of happiness than she was 5 minutes ago. Nor does she have a plan of any sort. She has been unemployed for a very long time and really exhibits no desire to actually get and/or keep a job - thinking that she has been doing fine scraping by as she has been for over a year now.
I realized that the real me is one closer to the boy scouts, to my mom's need to align myself with people who have a plan and a goal (although not so completely that I'm boxed in like my sister). So with that being said, I am making a goal for myself and putting the blinders on and the work in. I will find a great mentor who has made it in the company I am working for (it is 100% commission) I will pick his/her brain. I will find other great business mentors who have made a success of themselves.
I will drop those friends/people who do not lead to me being a better or happier person. If they aggravate me - there is reason for them NOT to be in my life and I need to cut them out. Done. If they desire to have the save drive and ambition. Come along for my ride. I have room in the car.
I'm no longer flying by the seat of my pants. But with a path in front of me - I'll still be flying.
It is snowing outside today in Denver. My kids and I are making the best of it - but not going out. This is something I virtually NEVER do. I would prefer to walk to the park, take a hike, go snowboarding, go to the store, visit friends. It is not that I don't like my house. I do. I just have this "thing" about staying in.
My mom says I come by this most naturally. My Grandfather purposefully forgot things at the store to ensure that he would "get" to go somewhere later or the next day. My mom is the same - I can recall the checkers at Albertson's near our house counting one day that my mom, dad or either me or my sister were dispatched to the store for one other item (why we couldn't just write a list to include everything I'm not certain).
Today though, I have spent a lot of time watching the Travel Channel (one of my faves) and perusing my newest copy of Travel+Leisure Magazine to transport me to another place. I have even discovered Pinterest. But then I started thinking about the one thing that I have not been able to find that was touched on in the magazine.
This month the magazine is titled "The Food Issue" where they tout 100 places to eat like a local. Which is great. I like to eat. And I had recently been asked for suggestions on where to eat in Denver that is really unique to Denver. (I have more than a few suggestions). It talked about how integral eating is to travel. Indeed this is true.
But what I don't often find is the local customs. I'm looking for something of a cliff-notes version of customs of the daily people in places I want to visit. Things like, Happy Hour in Denver, Colorado is typically something that would be held from 4-7p on a Friday night. On a typical Happy Hour, you will see drink specials (most often 1/2 price on wine, well & draft) and discounts on the appetizers. When a local does happy hour - they don't necessarily eat dinner. OR when in Paris, France don't expect to eat dinner at 7 p.m. and be in and out of the restaurant in an hour. That you will likely sit with others.
I love the idea that we are not really all that different from those across the world - but let's be honest! We are! We are different and we should embrace that. Even in our own neighborhoods we are different. We don't eat the same time as our neighbors - or even the same foods. I don't even eat the same thing as my parents anymore.
How are you different? How are we the same? Would you know your signature dish or your food customs?
What do you do to make yourself feel better, happier and healthier? I have been on a journey to discover what makes me a better me. Who I need to cull from my life and who I need to work very hard to keep. It is not just about people, but it is also about activities.
Is what you're currently doing causing pain vs. pleasure? What are you willing to change to make a change in your life? Why do you keep things that are not full pleasure? Why are we afraid of making that first step to add somethign new in our life to make myself better - or get rid of the things/people that are really tearing me apart?
So when I think about how I can feed my heart and my health I have to express that my life is one of a kind. I am an elite product made exactly who I am by God. He does not make mistakes - either in the life issues that I need to deal with or the people that have walked in and out of my life. When you think of or explain a challenge - I don't just think about the hardship but think about the benefit. I think about what it is that I am supposed to learn from it - or how I can do it better the next time.
As a team in the challenge of life, we need others to be on our team. But sometimes, you need to substitute the players. Sometimes, you get a new coach and sometimes you may even get traded to another team. Ultimately, for me I have to decide who will be on my team - when I build that roster. I only have intent to win to help those around me to win. To encourage and to continue to build up those around me - but hold those around me accountable for their actions as well. I have to be a leader in my own life. How will you?
