I get it

I get it. Or at least I think I do. I get that I intimidated you. I get what I want. I am a success. I am able to live a happy fulfilled life without needing anyone else in it. I am able to put my blinders on and reach for the stars and really believe that they are within my grasp. I am able to meet amazing people that will make a difference. I will make a difference to someone. It can be a bit daunting when you are with someone like that. Someone that needs you less that you even need yourself. Someone that really knows that you didn't hang the moon or the stars - someone who really is sitting next to them (the moon and stars) laughing as they try to give you a hand up into them to see the view from there. 

I am more than happy to invite you into my world. I like it here. But if you don't - well then. Goodbye to you. Enjoy your life among those firmly planted on the ground. I won't be stuck there. I won't let my life be tethered to something that doesn't let me be all that I am meant to be. I am a star. I am going places. I am worthwhile. I am exactly what God means for me to be. I am happiness and light. I am ponies and rainbows. I am laughter and fun. I am laughter and adventure...I am... I am... I am ME!

Little Rants

Little rants are ok if they help you to release whatever pent up frustration you may have on your mind. As long as they do not become and consume you. I was happy to get that off my chest and today, I choose to sit with happy music playing and writing about hopes and dreams for my life. 

I am hope and light, I am adventure and excitement, I am love and joy, I am peace and patience, I am ponies and rainbows and butterflies. THAT is who I am. 

So yes, I am done with my rant. I am done (at least momentarily) with reading all the facebook posts that make me unhappy. I am done with people who do not add to my life in any significant way. I don't need that. I need to be with like minded people. Not that I can't get through the difficult times. I just choose to minimize them and let them go. 

When you are in difficult times what do you do to make yourself feel better? I choose to listen to happy music. I choose to go and do something active. I choose to be around friends who make me feel better. I choose to make a plan to better myself rather than wallow in what is wrong - but make a plan for the future ensuring that it will be better tomorrow than today. 

You're a fucker fuck you!``

1. I was hurt. I wanted to scream fuck you to anyone who would listen. And most assuredly to you.  I wanted you to understand the depth of how much you hurt me. I wanted you to know that I had wrapped my head around something that I really couldn't have. I wanted you to know how much I saw that we had in common. But you threw me out like I was trash. I don't deserve that. And you don't deserve someone like me. You don't deserve a minute of my thoughts - but I can't make you go away. I am angry. I am mad. You have no idea. Fuck you fucker. Go away. I'm better than you. I deserve to be treated better than that. I am better than you give me credit for . You have moved on. I can't. I dont know how you did this to me. I am a strong girl and you somehow have me by some crazy-ass noose. NO. I don't go down like that fucker. FUCK YOU! How did you occupy my thoughts for a minute let alone the amount of time I have given to you. YOU said it yourself - I deserve more than you. Damn right Fucker. I am more. I am better. I am leaving you in my dust. G'bye. Adios. Never again will you cross my mind. You want me to take you down. I could. I have listened like a good girl. Yep. I hear every word, person and number you told me....I have enough to DESTORY you. But I won't. I'm not that girl. I'm not like that. I don't seek to destroy you. I really had hoped that happy included me - it doesn't so Fuck you and your whole mess. Fuck you and your thoughts. Fuck you and wherever you are going with this self professed happiness.

We are all broken

We are all broken. We all bring into our spot in life some dream or hope that is somehow dashed by someone else, bad timing, or simply wishful thinking. 

But the question remains for me - do I fix the broken or do I take that to new heights and grow from that? Remain consistent with who I am and what I believe. I believe that most people are pretty complicated - but I am not. I choose to live by my true North star. 

The hope is that we can figure out in our lifetime what that North Star is. The star is not wrapped up in anyone else. The star is your own personal hopes and dreams. What you can do on your own. The people you choose to keep in your life. The people who you can be friends with. The people who make you smile. The people that make you cry. They all contribute to making you the person that you are. The person that you can grow to be. Offer only what you can give. Give with no strings. Give with your heart.