Some times I get a certain idea or thought stuck in my head. I mull it over for days. It continues to manifest it's way into my thoughts until I figure out what I need to do to wrestle with the idea, thought or person.
I was recently watching a TV show (yes, TV can be inspiring). I was struck by the idea of something that was said on that show about great character development in TV characters. The statement was the person "just happens to also be..." as if every person in the universe is not just one dimentional - but also they just happen to be a lot of other things. About looking at a person for who they are.
So I thought of this in context of me. I have so often identified myself with the just so happens to be with the mutlple jobs that I have - from blogger, to hotel sales, to ski lift ticket sales to fitness sales. (Ok, - so maybe I overdo it with sales).
But I also happen to be a mom. I happen to be someone who is a friend, I happen to have other passions and interests.
I have done and I have seen - but I desire more. To see more. To do more. To be this. To be that. I just happen to be a whole lot more than I think I put out there. I am not sure how many other people think of the just so happens to be in everyone else's life.
What else do they have on their plate? What else occupies their thoughts? What do they celebrate? What do they morn? Who were they? Who will they be? Ultimately, to understand a person I have to get to the "what else they happen to be." an dI might be able to better understand....or have them understand me.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Life's Mysteries Unraveled
So I have been texting this new friend of mine. I feel like I am getting to know him better (Yes, you can do that on text). I started this new "game" called question of the day (QOD). I started out asking some of what I might call simple questions - what is your favorite color? What would you want with you on a deserted island?
But then I want to get to know him better - so I threw out a more difficult question today. The question prompt was - what is one of life's mysteries that you believe you have figured out. Then i thought about what I would need to say if I had to answer that question.
For me, the mystery I have figured out - is simply that I don't know everything. I am enamored with learning and asking questions. I can learn more if I listen with an open heart and not try so hard to impress - but rather let those other people impress me - simply by being who they are, having experienced what they have experienced, knowing who and what they know.
What have you figured out?
But then I want to get to know him better - so I threw out a more difficult question today. The question prompt was - what is one of life's mysteries that you believe you have figured out. Then i thought about what I would need to say if I had to answer that question.
For me, the mystery I have figured out - is simply that I don't know everything. I am enamored with learning and asking questions. I can learn more if I listen with an open heart and not try so hard to impress - but rather let those other people impress me - simply by being who they are, having experienced what they have experienced, knowing who and what they know.
What have you figured out?
Book of Mormon Adventure
I have wanted to see the Book of Mormon for several years now. It seems to always come to Denver - as some of the co-co creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are from Colorado (and also went to my alma matter, University of Colorado). I had been invited earlier to see the show on the media night (opening night). I couldn't go because I had my kids that night - and rather than leave them at home alone so that I could go galavanting around seeing a show I wanted to see - I stayed home with them. (I had also asked my friend if she wanted to go and she could not).
I had heard that they offer Lottery for tickets. How that basically works is that you put your name in a raffle bin between 5 and 5:30 (show time is at 7:30). At 5:30, a worker from the Denver Center pulls out approximately 10 names and the are allowed to purchase up to two tickets - GOOD SEATS - for just $25 a ticket.
I had purposefully waited until Halloween night because I thought that there would be fewer people there that night - and it would give me a better chance of winning. I arrived at 5 on the dot and quickly met another person in line. He informed me that he had done this before (and had seen Book of Mormon three other times). He said we have a better chance if each of us say that we are getting two tickets - then if his name is picked he would be my second person and the reciprocal for me. Sounded like a deal.
The worker pulled out name after name and neither mine nor this other guy's name was chosen. Hmmm... Ok now what? I was downtown. I had paid for parking. I had no plans for the night. I couldn't go home (cause I didn't buy candy for Halloween beggars - since my kids were at their dad's house). So... I waited. All the others from the lottery seemed to have dissipated. I people watched. I sat on a bench and started talking to whomever would sit next to me.
One guy came by selling a ticket for $140. YIKES! I only brought $40 cash. That would be all I would spend. (I also knew that the seats at the top of the theater were only $35 face value). I waited. I got cold. I was hungry (good thing I brought that granola bar in the bottom of my purse). Just 10 minutes before show time. A nice couple came up and were selling tickets. They were just $35! I bought it and I was in!!! YAY!
Turned out that they just moved here from Pennsylvania and have several family members here. The family member that was supposed to come was sick in the hospital. The 2nd ticket they had - they sold to some guy (I had briefly teased them outside the theater to sell it to a decent looking single guy - they did a good job of listening). We all had decent conversation prior to the show (however brief that was) and at intermission. I felt totally comfortable going by myself.
The show was funny. Irreverent. My mom and sister would have hated it. My friend Angie would have thought it awesome. The songs were hilarious. The themes overall were good but with a sense of jabs that made it very funny. I see why everyone I know has seen it. I understand why it has record sales.
Would you try the lottery? What would you do for tickets? If you made a plan (like seeing a play) what would you do to try to get it to happen? Would you travel downtown and pay to park even if you didn't have tickets? What show do you really want to see?
I had purposefully waited until Halloween night because I thought that there would be fewer people there that night - and it would give me a better chance of winning. I arrived at 5 on the dot and quickly met another person in line. He informed me that he had done this before (and had seen Book of Mormon three other times). He said we have a better chance if each of us say that we are getting two tickets - then if his name is picked he would be my second person and the reciprocal for me. Sounded like a deal.
The worker pulled out name after name and neither mine nor this other guy's name was chosen. Hmmm... Ok now what? I was downtown. I had paid for parking. I had no plans for the night. I couldn't go home (cause I didn't buy candy for Halloween beggars - since my kids were at their dad's house). So... I waited. All the others from the lottery seemed to have dissipated. I people watched. I sat on a bench and started talking to whomever would sit next to me.
One guy came by selling a ticket for $140. YIKES! I only brought $40 cash. That would be all I would spend. (I also knew that the seats at the top of the theater were only $35 face value). I waited. I got cold. I was hungry (good thing I brought that granola bar in the bottom of my purse). Just 10 minutes before show time. A nice couple came up and were selling tickets. They were just $35! I bought it and I was in!!! YAY!
Turned out that they just moved here from Pennsylvania and have several family members here. The family member that was supposed to come was sick in the hospital. The 2nd ticket they had - they sold to some guy (I had briefly teased them outside the theater to sell it to a decent looking single guy - they did a good job of listening). We all had decent conversation prior to the show (however brief that was) and at intermission. I felt totally comfortable going by myself.
The show was funny. Irreverent. My mom and sister would have hated it. My friend Angie would have thought it awesome. The songs were hilarious. The themes overall were good but with a sense of jabs that made it very funny. I see why everyone I know has seen it. I understand why it has record sales.
Would you try the lottery? What would you do for tickets? If you made a plan (like seeing a play) what would you do to try to get it to happen? Would you travel downtown and pay to park even if you didn't have tickets? What show do you really want to see?
Friday, October 11, 2013
Accomplished
I went to lunch with my friend Andri to day. She is such a light of a person. I love hanging out with her. Her easy way of being so self assured. Her way of showing everyone else around her that it is easy to laugh. That it is good to have fun.
While at lunch, she was telling me that she is so proud of her sister. She was lit up with the pride of an older sister. She was telling me that her sister is so accomplished. That she [her sister] has come a long way from her shy days in High School. So I asked her what success means. What does accomplishment mean?
And while in my self absorbed way (thinking about where I am in life right now) - I was wondering if her sister knew how proud of her she is...I was thinking about how I have not spent the time to tell those around me how proud of them that I am - about what their successes and troubles teach me. Who I look up to and why. So here are a few long overdue praises for family and friends that come to mind.
My sister - despite me being the big sister, you have done far more than teach me a thing or two. I am so proud of the mom and wife you are. You continue to show me daily - how to make sure that my priorities are straight. That job is not the be-all end-all no matter how fun it may seem. You live a life that is so white-picket fence. The kind of life that people spend a lifetime believing is only possible in a movie is your life. You are far more accomplished than I give you credit for. You are accomplished as the perfect sister.
My friend Angie - Angie knows who she is and what is important in life. You believe so strongly in your convictions and beliefs. You have proven to me that life may not be easy always - but there is always something to look forward to. You prove over and over again that pit or no - you can claw your way to getting everything want and everything you believe possible for yourself. You are far more accomplished than you give yourself credit for. As I told you the other day - if I only had 1/2 the things going for me that you do for you I would be in such a happy place.
My High School Girls - (Kim, JoAnn, Andri, Valerie, Tracey) - You are all amazing women in your own right. Friendships can cross boundaries of great schims of time and different lives (we cold not all have been in more diverse places). I love each of you for what you show me. That I know no matter what.
To Loretta - You continually teach me that diversity is beautiful. Different thoughts are to be celebrated (even though you and I agree on much). That I have a responsibility to make the world a better place. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You are far more accomplished than the degrees, education, and experiences that you have had.
To My Parents - for showing me there is hope for finding the right fit in a mate - someone who really is your best friend and can have fun with you in the Best Western's in Rifle or in the Palace Suite in Las Vegas (with a $750 food tab!). For showing me how to live an honorable life of hard work and working for the things that mean the most (family!). You are accomplished in teaching me to be a responsible & contributing adult.
Thank you Andri - for giving me the time to remember to tell those people closest to me that they are special! That like you are of your sister, I am around amazingly accomplished people - you are one of them!
While at lunch, she was telling me that she is so proud of her sister. She was lit up with the pride of an older sister. She was telling me that her sister is so accomplished. That she [her sister] has come a long way from her shy days in High School. So I asked her what success means. What does accomplishment mean?
And while in my self absorbed way (thinking about where I am in life right now) - I was wondering if her sister knew how proud of her she is...I was thinking about how I have not spent the time to tell those around me how proud of them that I am - about what their successes and troubles teach me. Who I look up to and why. So here are a few long overdue praises for family and friends that come to mind.
My sister - despite me being the big sister, you have done far more than teach me a thing or two. I am so proud of the mom and wife you are. You continue to show me daily - how to make sure that my priorities are straight. That job is not the be-all end-all no matter how fun it may seem. You live a life that is so white-picket fence. The kind of life that people spend a lifetime believing is only possible in a movie is your life. You are far more accomplished than I give you credit for. You are accomplished as the perfect sister.
My friend Angie - Angie knows who she is and what is important in life. You believe so strongly in your convictions and beliefs. You have proven to me that life may not be easy always - but there is always something to look forward to. You prove over and over again that pit or no - you can claw your way to getting everything want and everything you believe possible for yourself. You are far more accomplished than you give yourself credit for. As I told you the other day - if I only had 1/2 the things going for me that you do for you I would be in such a happy place.
My High School Girls - (Kim, JoAnn, Andri, Valerie, Tracey) - You are all amazing women in your own right. Friendships can cross boundaries of great schims of time and different lives (we cold not all have been in more diverse places). I love each of you for what you show me. That I know no matter what.
To Loretta - You continually teach me that diversity is beautiful. Different thoughts are to be celebrated (even though you and I agree on much). That I have a responsibility to make the world a better place. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You are far more accomplished than the degrees, education, and experiences that you have had.
To My Parents - for showing me there is hope for finding the right fit in a mate - someone who really is your best friend and can have fun with you in the Best Western's in Rifle or in the Palace Suite in Las Vegas (with a $750 food tab!). For showing me how to live an honorable life of hard work and working for the things that mean the most (family!). You are accomplished in teaching me to be a responsible & contributing adult.
Thank you Andri - for giving me the time to remember to tell those people closest to me that they are special! That like you are of your sister, I am around amazingly accomplished people - you are one of them!
Monday, October 7, 2013
More questions
Sometimes, I like to think that I am in control of my life. Like I somehow was the grand designer of where I am. But then I see that there is a color wheel that I've totally missed on the painting of where I am and where I want to be. The picture is not complete without it.
There is one thing I wish for more than anything - but there is absolutely nothing that I can do to create it for myself. It is a dance. It is a balance.
Do I tell him that I like him and that he occupies by thoughts? Does he know that? Does he reciprocate it? Does he care? Does he feel the same? Does he just hang out with me to be nice - because he doesn't have anything else to do? Does he have the same fears? Does he care about his fears? What does he care about? What do I know? What don't I? Why are there so many questions - when I think I should be learning the answers?
What is the one thing? Is there one thing? What matters? What doesn't?
Suffice it to say, I am lost. I don't know how to do this. I don't know where to start. This is something you can not learn because there are so many other factors at play. It is not a simple equation that is easy to read and understand.
I am somehow confused...looks right, feels right...no feedback. None. Done?
There is one thing I wish for more than anything - but there is absolutely nothing that I can do to create it for myself. It is a dance. It is a balance.
Do I tell him that I like him and that he occupies by thoughts? Does he know that? Does he reciprocate it? Does he care? Does he feel the same? Does he just hang out with me to be nice - because he doesn't have anything else to do? Does he have the same fears? Does he care about his fears? What does he care about? What do I know? What don't I? Why are there so many questions - when I think I should be learning the answers?
What is the one thing? Is there one thing? What matters? What doesn't?
Suffice it to say, I am lost. I don't know how to do this. I don't know where to start. This is something you can not learn because there are so many other factors at play. It is not a simple equation that is easy to read and understand.
I am somehow confused...looks right, feels right...no feedback. None. Done?
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Over active brain?
Sometimes I have to remind myself not to over think things. People do things for a reason - and even once they are done - you can not go back and change them. There are no do-overs in life. Life is too fleeting to take time wondering what it is that YOU have done. Perhaps it is those around us who are harboring too many thoughts - so we re-think.
Maybe there is something to be said to being a simpleton. How do I get to that? To not think too much?
Maybe there is something to be said to being a simpleton. How do I get to that? To not think too much?
Morning Hold Out
I can recall being invited to elementary school sleep overs at a
friend's house. The excitement and fun was great! All until the
morning. You see, I am a morning person. I get up fairly early every
day. Ok, I'm not in the military so I'm not crazy - but you know like,
6:30 or 7:00 every morning without an alarm.
In the morning, I would lay there among the other girls - but not knowing if I should just get up and quietly do somethign (I think that is how I got sooo into magazines - because I could quietly look at them). I would lay there an stare at the ceiling wondering if I should get up and go sit in the kitchen with my friend's parents or just lay there until everyone else was up. Eventually I would hold out until the other girls woke up.
So I grew up, I've stayed my fair share on friend's couches. That makes it easier to know when they are up - because I could just pretend I was asleep until they made noise and I would beautifully (almost as though it were some sort of coreography) stretch and appear to wake up right then. My own personal version of Sleeping Beauty (not necessarily with the handsome prince kiss to wake me up).
But there have been the few times that I have stayed in the "guest room". I would listen and listen for noise to see if the other person was awake. Going to the bathroom always seems to help (because then you can look around and see if they are awake or not).
There are still lessons that I have not learned as an adult - like what to do when you wake up early! Does anyone else agonize about being the early guest or the one that sleeps way in? How do the rules change when you are at a guy's house? Do you sneak out? Do you do the sleeping beauty thing?
In the morning, I would lay there among the other girls - but not knowing if I should just get up and quietly do somethign (I think that is how I got sooo into magazines - because I could quietly look at them). I would lay there an stare at the ceiling wondering if I should get up and go sit in the kitchen with my friend's parents or just lay there until everyone else was up. Eventually I would hold out until the other girls woke up.
So I grew up, I've stayed my fair share on friend's couches. That makes it easier to know when they are up - because I could just pretend I was asleep until they made noise and I would beautifully (almost as though it were some sort of coreography) stretch and appear to wake up right then. My own personal version of Sleeping Beauty (not necessarily with the handsome prince kiss to wake me up).
But there have been the few times that I have stayed in the "guest room". I would listen and listen for noise to see if the other person was awake. Going to the bathroom always seems to help (because then you can look around and see if they are awake or not).
There are still lessons that I have not learned as an adult - like what to do when you wake up early! Does anyone else agonize about being the early guest or the one that sleeps way in? How do the rules change when you are at a guy's house? Do you sneak out? Do you do the sleeping beauty thing?
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