When I hear your name

It used to be when I would hear your name I would get a giggled deep in my stomach. One that made me smile all the way through my entire being. I couldn't really believe that someone would associate you with me. What a thrill. What a cool thing. I would hear your name and be proud of your choices, goals and accomplishments. When I would hear your name I knew that the association was a good and positive thing.

Now when I hear your name - I wonder what has happened to you. Why you made the choices you did. I wonder if you are really happy or if you have let someone else lead you down a dangerous path. When I hear your name I think of personal distruction. When I hear your name I feel anger and distrust. When I hear your name I hear "idiot" in my own head (begging me to try to figure out what it was I even saw in you in the first place).

I hear that other person's name spat with distain and dislike. I hear that other person's name and no one gets a smile. I hear that other person's name and wonder how someone like that has lead you to where you are now - wherever that is.

But now, when I hear your name - I am glad I am no longer associated with it. When I hear your name I feel sad for you. When I hear your name there is no more praise - but rather I wonder if you know what you have done to your own reputation. Do you care?