I looked in

I live in an apartment complex. When I go to get the mail, I have to take a walk from the back of the complex to the front. I can't say that I really make an effort to look (or not) in the open windows of my neighbors homes. 

I don't think I like the idea that anyone else would do the same to me. I close the windows at night and hope that all anyone could see in is a sliver of light. Something that may say that I am home, but not what I'm doing inside (which usually involves me watching TV, playing on the computer or cooking).

But I can't help it. I do. I look into my neighbors homes. I wonder as I walk by, if that really is just normal life for them. Have they decorated similarly to me? How can a place that is EXACTLY like mine look nothing like mine? Do the people inside know that I wish for a moment I could be in their house? Do they know that I wish I knew what they were talking about? Do they know that they look so sweet having dinner - with the candle flickering on the table between them? Do they know that someone else wishes they had that kind of life. 

I am not saying that I don't like the life that I have. (I actually quite enjoy it and like to brag about it on Facebook). I am blessed to be able to get to see and do the things that I do. But, I can't help but think a bit on what other people see in my window when they walk by. Do they wonder where I am when I'm not there? Do they care? Do they see me laughing with my kids and hope that they had the same relationship with theirs?

I looked in to their life. I liked what I saw. But what I liked even more was when I looked into my own (did some self exploration) and realized that I don't need anything else right now.