Living in the Grey

I have a hard time living in the Grey. No, I'm not talking about the best seller, Fifty Shades of Grey although I've read it (or at least the first one). I have been blessed to live a life that has had some fantastic ups and devastating lows (If my life was a personality type I might be classified as manic-depressive). 

I laugh a bit as the biggest example happened to me over the summer. One weekend I was treated as a total VIP in Las Vegas (picked up in a limo, taken out to dinners, golf, huge room, bell people at my disposal, VIP bank of elevator too!) and then the next weekend, I was staying with my friend at her cabin in Wyoming (no indoor plumbing). That is where I live my life - at either extreme. 

I have lived on a high of getting nearly every wish I had hoped for and then stayed just long enough to see the whole thing crumble into a mess that I'm still trying to dig out from. I know that I am not the first or only woman who has had to deal with issues like divorce, unemployment, and being scared and feeling utterly alone (and I had all of the bad happen to me all at once, fun stuff)!

But I've come to realize that my bad is nothing compared to what some other women deal with. I had heard it a million times before - blah, blah all about attitude. But then I am constantly being told that I am one of the most positive people that many people know. I honestly believe that things will go my way. I believe that what I have is enough. What I need is nothing more than my basic needs being met. I don't need the trappings of labels, big homes or fancy cars. I need to know that I am making a difference in the lives of the people that mean most to me. That meant that I had to drill down who meant most. 

So grey? I don't live there. I don't like normal. I like happy. I like extreme. I like not being tethered to someone else's idea of what my life should look like and what my reaction to it should be. I am finally done with should, could and would. You can keep them. I am into DO these days. If you think that is extreme. So be it. I live and love in the extreme.