Taking Stock

Before I am ready to make any kind of resolution to make myself better in the next year - I have to look at the past to see what I did wrong and to calculate what I can do better in the upcoming year. The things that I have "let slide" which I would wish not to and those things that I have learned and want to continue. 

In my career: I have tried too hard to fit into what I think is someone else's vision for what I am and what I should be. I have been living too long by what the "world' says I should do and what work looks like.  If I am to make my business succeed - I must see it as that. I know it is not traditional in the way that I go to work and let someone else tell me when to be there and when to do work. It is self directed. I do not get a regular paycheck one in which I can count on coming at a certain time of week/month. I have to manage with what I have. 

In my love life: I must really determine who I really am before I can think of offering that to someone else. I must make sure that I understand what is important to me. I must put in place my own ideals and look for someone who fits those. Not me fit into someone else's.

In life in general: There are so many people that say they want to be healthier or be more responsible when it comes to money. I want those things too. But I have to determine WHY. Why do I want to be healthier and what are the steps that I need to take to get that done?  Why do I care about money? How can I be more cognizant of what I have and what I don't - but still be able to do the things that I want to accomplish. I have to put down some goals on how to get that done.

 

Is it really only my life?

I often run into these weird situations where I wonder if it is just my life or if it normal for everyone else's life too.  I blame myself for things that really have nothing to do with me at all. Or more to be real - things that feel more like they are a plot out of a movie than anything that may happen in real life. 

I have this awful propensity to blame myself for anything that happens that is weird. I think that somehow I have brought it on - or that I am the reason that something has been said or done. But after talking to a great friend (who is also a licensed counselor) - she reminded me that I am not the person to blame for weird things that happen. That many times it is all about the other person - their personal action/reaction/desires...

But then it made me question. How much am I blaming myself just for being me? For having a certain thought or reaction to something that really doesn't have anything to do with me? Indeed life is weird - how we learn what we are supposed to think, believe or feel. 

I know that I feel the way I feel. I don't need to apologize for it. I think what I think. As long as I have real reasons for thinking that - and am willing to at least HEAR the other side - I do not need to apologize for it. If I believe good will happen it will. Mostly because I believe that the things that happen are indeed good. believe, think, feel. I am who I am. 

Car Troubles

I love my car. I honestly do! I have a deep seated belief that what we drive says something about our personality. I am most certain that I am a Jeep Girl!  I was practically born with a jeep. There are stories (you'd have to ask my mom) about my dad taking my mom jeeping in the Colorado mountains the summer that I was to be born. 

The story goes something like this, with the doors off and nothing but a lap belt my dad decided to traverse a canyon (over time the divide has gotten bigger) on literally two planks of wood that were carefully placed to become the "road" over which my dad would take my pregnant mom across the gorge - all the name of fun. (My mom later admits that she was not real fond of the ride and it was nothing even in the neighborhood of fun). 

When I was 16, I learned how to drive a stick-shift (my dad said this was a necessity - but I really think it was because we had no choice) in my dad's green Jeep CJ7. He even taught me how to get out and "lock the tires in" so that I could put it in four-wheel drive. I felt like the coolest kid in school when I got to drive the jeep to school. (I was rather sad when my sister took it over when I went away to college and had no use for it living on campus).

Fast forward several years, at 40 years old, I am on my second white Jeep Grand Cherokee (yes, I had one and then traded it in for the VERY SAME THING - just newer). A jeep has NEVER failed me. As matter of fact, I have saved other people. In my big Jeep I was able to help others get out of ditch, haul all the kids somewhere, or take everyone to the mountains.  

But over the past month, I have had to have my Jeep towed - not one, twice, three, or even four times...but a total of five! (I've exceeded my AAA allowance for free tows!). The first time it was just kind of a minor annoyance. It didn't start. I was supposed to be going to my cousin's house. I had it towed where AAA suggested. They replaced the battery and I was on my way.  The second time, I had my daughter with me. It was before school. We had already dropped my son off as his junior high - had just filled up with gas. When the car would not start. Some nice guys in a truck tried to jump us. It didn't help. We waited and tried to start the car intermittently. I called AAA for my tow (they charged me for it anyway). It finally roared to a start. I got my daughter to school in time. Drove it directly to the same place that put in the battery. This time they told me that is had something to do with the fuel governor (not being a mechanic - ok fix it)...I went up to Vail (two hours away) and back. No problems.

The third time, I was at a hotel near my house (for work). I went to the party I was there for (I had driven the Jeep around all day). When I came out from the party, my Jeep would not start. I had the hotel take the courtesy van to drop me off at home and then walked back the next morning (that was a fun brisk 3 mile walk - YAY Coffee in hand).  I had it towed (that's #3) to Don Massey Cadillac - because it was the closest place and since it had a name attached, I figured it would be more reputable. He kept the car all that day. Replaced the fuel pump. (again I'm no mechanic). Just in time to run to get my kids - and head to the other side of town. We made it there. It was at another hotel. We had the night stay there. All was good we had fun jumping on the bed and swimming the heated pool. The next morning, we decided to go to Sonic to get breakfast. Drove into the spot, ordered, ate and then went to start the car again. DEAD! Won't start again. 

So here we arrive at tow number four. We get it towed to the Jeep dealer at that side of town. (which conveniently is close to my parents house). The kids and I hang out with my parents that day hoping that the Jeep Dealer (Pro Jeep) will fix it. But it is a Saturday and they have already warned us that they are super busy, it may be Monday before it is fixed. By 5 p.m. still no Jeep. So my dad lends us his Jeep to get to my side of town and so that I can take the kids to school on Monday. Monday arrives. I get the kids to school, pick up my dad (he had an appointment) and finally get the Jeep back from the dealer at around 6:30 p.m. Can we say convenient? NO!!!! Plus, they charge me over $700 to replace the...FUEL PUMP?!?!? Why do they need to replace the fuel pump? I got a new one just days ago! I feel totally "taken" by a mechanic!!! They must be on commission and I apparently have sucker written on my forehead. But, I need a car. I'm a single mom. I don't have money. I certainly can't buy a new car. They assure me all is good. They have written on the paperwork that if I have an issue again it might be the IPL or IPM or something. So I drive the Jeep around happy once again to be in the driver's seat of my Jeep. Tuesday is good. Run errands. Wednesday all good too....pick up the kids from school....

Thursday morning....get in the car at 7 a.m. to take my son to school (I also have my daughter).. The Jeep is once again dead in my garage! Won't start. I have to try to figure out how to get my kids to school. They can't walk. It's too far. I'm getting really frustrated, mad and feel totally taken advantage of by multiple mechanics. Thought the issue was taken care of - and most of all I really TRUSTED the Jeep Dealer. They have to have some sort of certification don't they? So I've arrived at tow number five. This one I have to pay for - as I've not exceeded the AAA free ones. I tow it to the other Jeep Dealer (Centennial) that I usually take it to. I'm good about doing my oil changes and getting it taken care of regularly. They fixed it on Thursday. They asked to keep it over night to see if it has the issues again. So I picked it up on Friday. They apparently had to re-wire something because the pins to the IPM were loose. UH? WHY DIDN'T THE PRO JEEP DEALER FIX THAT?!?!?!

So. I cross my fingers that it is fixed for real. Now there is no reason to trade it in ...SIGH. I'm afraid to take it anywhere. I might get stuck again. It's Christmas time. I've now paid for new battery, new governor, TWO fuel pumps, and an electric IPM dealio, new wipers, a back light, my brakes are squealing... HELLO CHRISTMAS for my kids... Do you think giving them a note that says you get a ride to school. Is a good Christmas present?

Restaurant Tour Feels Like Living on Cloud 9

Do you have someone that is very difficult to find just the right gift? Have a special occasion to commemorate? Looking for something totally out of the ordinary? The new trend is to give experience gifts. But just where do you find the right experience? Look no further than Cloud9Living.com.

Cloud9Living has a unique array of experience gifts that will fit nearly every personality from white water rafting to spa days. I recently was able to celebrate my sister's birthday on the Top Restaurant Tour. It was a simple and easy process. When she decided which experience she wanted to try, I booked it online. The communication was simple and easy. We could choose from several different dates. We selected a Saturday.

Once we decided on the day, we received email notification of where to meet (the last stop). We were in a group of six people - there was an older couple, a younger couple, my sister and I plus a guide. 

Me & my sister at Beatrice & Woodsley's

Our meal at B&W's

Once we arrived, the group was escorted onto a white chartered van, where we were whisked away to Beatrice & Woodsley's on South Broadway. I had never heard of the restaurant and was a little nervous about what to expect. When we arrived, we were escorted into the restaurant where it was literally open just for us. When we sat down, we were presented with a nice wine and a special offer of buffalo steak, corn pancake, with a coffee sauce as well as cappuccino creme brulee. The manager told us the story of Beatrice & Woodsley (they were in love his family made oak barrels for her family's wine making...they lived happily ever after in a cabin. Which the atmosphere is meant to emulate).

Our meal at Strings

The next restaurant was Strings. Strings is iconic in Denver as the place to go for special occasions. Strings is known for being a really hip place for vising politicians and stars. The owner, Tammy introduced herself and told us a bit about the photos and decor, how they are uniquely her. They served a lamb shank, grits, roasted beets and brussels - along with another amazing wine.








The final restaurant was 2nd Home inside the JW Marriott in Cherry Creek. I'm not certain that they knew they were the third and final stop on the tour. But they definitely went all out with portions. We were served four different courses: pan-seared scallop with sweet potatoes (served with a sweet citrus champagne); fresh salad with beets and fresh goat-cheese that was amazingly creamy (served with beet infused vodka and chambord); bison stroganoff (amazingly tasty and full of great creamy flavors); and finished with a pan cookie with ice cream.

While I really don't mean to compare such different restaurants (and I've already made plans to return to Beatrice & Woodsley's for brunch with some girlfriends). I would say that I loved the atmosphere at B&W's the most and the food at 2nd Home.  I never would have tried these restaurants without this tour.

Honestly, the experience was fun and definitely memorable. I am excited for the next opportunity I have to book another Cloud9Living experience.  This time since my sister will not be the one making the decisions - I may try to stock car race or be a fighter pilot! I can understand why the company is called Cloud9Living. I really felt like we were living on Cloud Nine. Plus, you can sign up now for the 9 Days of Christmas Sweepstakes and try to win your special someone a great Christmas Present. Gift certificates are available for as little as $50.00.

Cheater's Dinner

My mom always figured out a way to put these amazing dinners on the table. Dinner time was sacred - it was a time that we all sat down together to discuss the day that we had. To connect with each other and to ensure that we were being a bit healthy. My mom always made sure that each meal was well-rounded with the appropriate protein, starch and vegetable. 

I have found that either I am or my life is a bit more frenetic than my mom's (although I really can't figure out how - because my mom worked full time as well). Anyway, I find these really great ways to make what I've termed "cheater's dinners." 

Recently we found Progresso Frozen sauces and pastas at our nearby Albertson's store. (That said - YES I do regularly shop in the frozen food aisles - and YES, you can get healthy meals there.)  The same company that brings you amazIng soups now does frozen Specialty Sauces and Pasta. The Progresso Meal Starters come in yummy flavors that I could never really make on my own. Stuff like white wine sauce and marsala. They are delicious and make it appear to my kids that I too am making great dinners for them.

The other thing we love to do at our house is "buy a party".  Buying a party consists of buying the items that would be put out at a party. Crackers, cheese, vegetable tray, olives, and meats. My kids love this as we create our own party (along with music and dancing) - which has become a fun Friday night tradition at our house. I have recently discovered Private Selection offering at our local King Soopers. They are these really gourmet sounding stuff at a way lower cost. I recently got stuffed olives (jalapeno and blue cheese). Water crackers, buffalo cheddar cheese and yummy Marabita sauce (it's a tasty spaghetti sauce) that we used for our meatballs. Plus, I got all this stuff for free from BzzAgent. If you are looking for a way to get some free food to try every once in a while. Try it. 

Small Steps Means Big Rewards

My kids have a piggy bank. I throw my change in it. I usually believe that the extra 15 cents won’t really add up to much. But after saving those pennies (nickels, dimes, quarters…) my daughter has saved over $100 and is intending to buy herself an American Girl Doll. 

 

Just like pennies, small choices like cutting a 100 calories from your diet each day or burning 100 calories can add up to a lot when it comes to keeping yourself and your family healthy.

I loved the Rally Man’s ideas on simple ways to cut 100 calories by making simple food choices and substitutes. But, eating is only part of the equation to really LIVING WELL. The other piece is to make movement a part of your life every day. There are many simple and quick ways to burn a hundred calories and have fun doing it at the same time!

I came up with a list of a few ways you can burn 100 calories:

•         Play tag with your kids for about 30 minutes
•        Dance for about 25 minutes
•        Take a 30 minute bike ride
•       Walk for about 20 minutes
•       Shoot some hoops for about 20 minutes
•       Go rock climbing for just 10 minutes
•      Jump Rope for about 10 minutes 
•       Run a 10 minute mile

I often hear that people don’t have TIME to work-out, but it can be just as effective to do something for a short time like 10 minutes several times as day as it does to block a full hour to go to the gym. Just like Rally Man suggests or pennies saved  – you don’t have to make GIANT changes to your life. Take it one “step” at a time. 

Timing Didn't Work Out

Isn't it kind of the story of my life - timing just won't work out. I believe I've stated before that I like to try to schedule everything into my day/week and the more the better. I like to try to take advantage of the fact that I am going one place or another and try to do the most that I can. 

This week I will travel to Vail for my job. (The job with the hotels - HelmsBriscoe) to show a client a couple different hotels there. I have to work the next day at 2 p.m. making a few short runs at Vail easily do-able. I will even have a hotel room for the night (which is really awesome!). It will take me a couple hours to get down the hill...so I can get some quick runs in no problem. Oh WAIT! Vail does not open until FRIDAY! 

Guess I will have to wait for another day. The irony on it is that I am going to my job at VAIL - but I am working for Vail Corp in AURORA (metro Denver) so that I could get a free pass and make it ok to go on a short little couple runs kind of day...like this one!

Not Leading Someone Else's Life

I have been told on occasion that some people might be jealous a bit of the life that I lead. I am able to go to many events. My kids are well behaved. They do well in school and play sports....and being that I am divorced, I get every other weekend OFF of being a parent without having to feel bad about that. I can go out to clubs, go hiking or snowboarding - whatever my flight of fancy is. 

I am only now figuring out how to be ok with my life too! I have been trying for so long to try to meld my life into what someone else thinks is textbook - or even trying to make me textbook. It will never work for me. I don't live that life. I am not happy with rules that someone else tries to impose on my life. I don't need them. I thought for a long long time that I did need to live my life like someone else. But now, I am coming to realize. That I am not that person. 

I do get to do cool things. I DO them. I don't let life pass me by - MY life. The one I am meant to live. The one that makes me happy. 

I struggle to find the things and people in my life that will add to my life and not require me to give up a piece of myself for them. I am still trying to figure out how my dreams really look. Who is there with me? Will I ever learn that or will I get to continue trying on different things until I find the right fit?

Cirque Du Soleil Interview

I recently had the opportunity to speak with Claudine Rivard, Company Manager at Cirque’s show Quidam. Now showing at the 1st Bank Center in Broomfield, it will be at the 1st Bank Center through Sunday, November 12. Tickets are still available. $35 for Adults, $28 for children, Family four-packs start at $110. The show will then travel to Loveland – Nov 14-18, 2012.

The show can be a bit dark in places – but overall it is light and fun with more kids elements than many other Cirque shows. My daughter was confused by trying to follow the storyline. But, both of my kids were awed and amazed at the fantastic physical artistry and amazed and what the people could do. They loved the fact that when we saw them practice – they were just real people – but they look VERY different with makeup and costumes on.

Gretchen (G): What do the performers to right before the show?
Claudine (C): They warm up on the blue carpet right behind the stage. When they are not on stage some of them read or knit.

G: What do they eat?
C: We set up our own catering. We try to accommodate the different tastes. They like steak and shrimp (made lots of ways). Our chef travels with us.

G: How many people are on tour?
C: There are 95 staff members – of which 52 are artists. They represent over 19 countries. We proudly display each country’s flag back stage.

G: What was your career path?
C: I was a Psychologist by trade and studies. When I was looking for a job a friend of mine told me about Cirque. You have to like what you do. I love what I do and have been with Cirque for over 10 years.

G: Do many of the performers have young families at home?
C: Life on the road can be really difficult. They work for 10 weeks and then get 2 weeks off. 10 on. Two off. Many of them go home to visit families during their weeks off – but not many of them have kids on the touring shows. The Cirque shows that stay in one location like the one’s in Vegas are the ones that have families. Only two on this show have kids.

G: (After showing me the amazing costume room – where there are up to 4 changes for each character and backups of each of those costumes – which includes shoes…) Wow, with that many costumes on tour with you – what is it like to do laundry?
C: We do 8 loads of laundry – washing AND ironing each costume for each show. When there are two shows in one day that is 16 loads! We bring our own washers and dryers along on the tour.

G: So their costumes are laundered and pressed for them – what about make-up?
C: Each of the artist does their own make-up. Usually they learn how to do it themselves in just a few times. It takes them at least an  hour to put on their make-up.
Thanks for coming. Enjoy the show!

 

Email me if you know of any great Denver deals!

You can also follow me on Twitter (GeeWhy93).  If I find a great deal during the week, I’ll tweet it out.

Thankful For My Dad

Several days ago I concocted a whole different way of celebrating Thanksgiving during the whole month of November by showing those near me and even the community I live in and the world that I am thankful just for the many blessings that I have in my life. Each day I am doing somethign simple to show those around me that they are appreciated. A little appreciation and acknowledgement go a long way.

Today, I called my dad. I had no other reason to call him other than to say, "thanks for being such a great dad." I think I confused him by the whole thing.

My dad is the kind of guy who really would put his life in front of mine. He is a very social guy and likes to be around people. I am happy to say that I got that trait from him. He would put his family first - his sisters, brothers, wife, kids, in-laws, neices & nephews. My dad's family is very close to one another in that they always go to everyone's birthday parties, baby showers and in the fall - all of the boys and their kids (and now grand kids) all meet up at the University of Colorado football games. 

I'm pretty sure that my dad would have wanted a boy. But instead he got two girls (me and my sister). He taught me from an early age that just the fact that I am a girl should NEVER stop me from being what I want to be in life. He was my early pre-cursor to not really understanding that "glass ceiling" concept. Because I never believed that I should be held down. (He also taught me how to shoot a .22, and fish, and jeep, and to love and play sports - and love that I live in Colorado).

He showed me that education is the way in life. His quote was always, "They can take all kinds of things away from you but they can never take away what you know." I'm still not certain who they are. But in life - I have had some difficulties and my dad has always made me smile, stick out my chin and believe better days are on the way. He showed me that life can be hard work. He has an amazing work ethic working for the same company for 30+ years. (NO ONE does that anymore).

I don't know that a blog entry or a call could even come close to how Thankful I am that my dad is MINE.

Park Hyatt Beaver Creek Cooks up Kids Cooking Classes

As if there is not already enough to do in Beaver Creek in the winter. Park Hyatt Beaver Creek Resort and Spa is stepping up a notch with teen and kids cooking classes.

The team from the hotel  announced and sampled the new offering at the Hyatt in Downtown Denver last week. A gathering of writers and their children were treated to a Halloween and fall themed menu in which the kids were the chefs. They were instructed by Executive Chef Christian Apetz. The menu was well thought out with the kids in mind - as desserts and yummy sweet drinks were made before the main entrees.

Dalton and Peyton pose with Robert Purdy, General Manager at Park Hyatt Beaver Creek

The menu included: Candy Corn Drinks (the flavors and colors made it look just like a candy corn, orange slice on the bottom, orange drink and whip cream and candy corn on top), Granola - which the kids got to mix and choose which nuts and fruits they put in,  Root Beer floats served with home-made ice cream and dry ice so they smoked and foamed over, S'mores Hot Choclate with the rims served with chocolate and graham cracker crumbles and a torched marshmallow (they make their own marshmallows at the kitchen of the hotel), flat-bread pizza, corn breaded shrimp and tater tots with an amazing dipping sauce.

Making granola

Beaver Creek ski area opens on November 21st, be sure to pan the family friendly vacation at the Park Hyatt Beaver Creek Resort and Spa. The hotel is located at the base of the ski area with true ski-in ski-out access. The culinary team at 8100 Mountainside Bar & Grill located in the hotel will offer the weekly complimentary cooking classes which will include themes like gourmet pizza making, sushi rolling, mocktails, and lessons on how to make barista style coffees at home.

Make your reservations now!

Thankful for my kids

 As my month of showing thanks continues. Tonight it is all about my kids. I wrote them each a little note about how special they are and how they really make my life better each day. 

I will celebrate them with a Dance Party Friday. Dance Party Friday is a night all about them. It starts with a trip to the store where the kids get to pick out their own dinners. Some times we have what I call party foods (apps and munchies) sometimes they pick out their own TV dinners! Then we turn on the music and dance in the living room. Each kiddo gets to pick their own song to dance to. We take turns so that through the night we all get to pick something. This lets us laugh, engage in conversation with each other, keeps me in touch with what they are listening to....and it keeps them off the couch and from watching tv all night long. :)

A New November Tradition

For the past several years, I have chosen to celebrate Thanksgiving all month long with a simple post - a statement of what or who I am thankful for. I hoped at the end of the month that those people who have been a blessing in my life really knew that they meant something to me. I also hoped that I could view the world from a better happier place (perhaps I was taking a page from the Oprah Gratitude Journal idea). 

While the exercise was good, this year I decided to step it up. I have decided to really show people what they mean in my life and I hope to be a catalyst for people doing nice things for one another through the entire year rather than just a month. 

Today, I had plans to visit with a friend I had not seen in a very long time for a happy hour get-together. My friend Rick used to work with me YEARS ago. I recently got back in touch with him. He has a friend who also had some questions about another of my previous jobs (to say that I switch jobs often is like saying is the sky really blue). I was happy to lend my thoughts and experience. I was glad to make time for an old friend. I thought it would be a great way to start the month. 

I also thought that this would be the end of my "do goodness" today. But then, I received a call from my cousin this morning. He needed some immediate help with his 3 month old son due to some complications with my cousin. I was pleased to be able to help. All I did was go up to the house feed the baby and put him down to sleep. Clean slightly and then head home. I didn't feel like I was all that helpful - but did what I could.

I guess I could say that this was an even better start to the month - blessed to be a blessing.

The Heart of Christmas DVD Inspired Me

Sometimes when I read something or watch a movie I am inspired to do something different from normal life.Wrap that with the idea that my daughter started asking me to put up the Christmas Tree in August. (I think she shopped at Khol's one too many times). The Halloween decorations were barely up on the walls when she was asking about Christmas.

I recently saw the movie The Heart Of Christmas. It is a heartbreaking yet hopeful holiday film about a family faced with losing their child and their quest to give him one last Christmas celebration.

Based on a true story that gained national attention, the films tells the story of Austin and Julie Locke, who are devastated to learn that their young son Dax has been diagnosed with cancer.  With courage, determination and faith they decide to give the boy one last Christmas – even if it has to be in October!  When the community sees their decorations and learns the truth of what’s going on in their home, a truly moving outpouring of care and support occurs that people really need to see to believe.  THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS is available on DVD Tuesday, October 16.

The movie was such a great heartwarming tale that I have been inspired to try to find a great way to give back to my own community. While I don't know someone who is going through cancer - but we can help any time at Volunteers of America. There are some great opportunities to serve the community with our kids - December 8 we will help deliver fruit and chocolate baskets and homemade holiday cards to 5,750 seniors in the community who may not receive a gift or visit during the holiday season. You could also Adopt a family and or deliver meals Thanksgiving or Christmas time.  Last year we had fun wrapping books - over 1,000 books needed to be wrapped before they could be delivered to the kids for their Christmas party. If you are interested in volunteering there are all kinds of opportunities - reach out to Rachel at VOA. Contact Rachel Dolgin at 720-264-3310 or rdolgin@voacolorado.org to volunteer.

Let this amazing DVD inspire you like it did me.

Onward

I pick up the book titled Onward by Howard Schultz the founder and CEO of Starbucks. And I contemplate for a moment what it means to me that I have picked up this book at this time in my life and how I have had to find a way to move onward with my life. 

Moving on is not mutually exclusive of being sad to let go of the past - along with the hopes and dreams that came to pass or did not nor the excitement of what the future holds and how I cling to the belief that each and every part of my past makes me who I am to carry me into the future that will somehow be better than my past. 

I struggle to find the line between yearning for things that I so wish would have happened. How my life might have turned out or the dreams that I chose not to push hard enough to fulfill. To finding the hope, the wish and the fortitude and tenacity to make my new dreams come to fruition without being just a dreamer - and knowing there is hard work still to be done. 

I relish in the idea that God created me as a one of a kind. Because of that, I have much to contribute. I have reasons for having the energy and persistence that I do. I have the background from the things I have experienced. Through it all learning how to love, how to be and show love, and the hardest part for me - to receive love. 

So, Onward is not just a book for me. (while I read this one that way). I know that Onward is my mentality, it is my mantra, it is my way of life...keep moving forward - because better is still to come.

I believe in supersitions and wives tales

Yes, I'm the girl that reads my horoscope nearly every day to see just what MIGHT happen to me each day. Whether it is true or not, I read it. Maybe it is just wishful thinking. Maybe it becoemes a self fulfilling prophesy. (I'm ok with that -because they are usually happy and good). 
 My Grandpa told me that when your feet itch - it means that you are going to get to go on a trip. Well I'm wondering why my feet don't itch more! I want to go all the time. And going on a trip for me can just be going down the street to the grocery store. Yes, I like to get out of the house.

But tonight, I could not go to sleep - because I had itchy feet.  I have been thinking about several trips and was trying to quiet my mind for the night with a Traveler Magazine. Tomorrow, we will leave for a 3 day - 2 night stay at Mt. Princeton with my girlfriends from high school. I am very excited. I never thought that I would be part of a girls weekend. I feel kind of like I'm in a movie!

The Cleaning Fairy Visited

Yesterday, I became the "momster." You know, the one with the eyes bugging out, screaming voice and the vein popping out at the side of my neck. I had been on the phone all day (love getting lost in the tangle of government phone systems). I looked up and realized what time it was and hurriedly told my kids that it was time to go. They promptly got up, put on their shoes and were out the door - the living room was a wreck! 

Resplendant with dirty dishes on the coffee table, spills  nearly dripping to the floor, a box of crackers on its side - with the cat atop the table trying to eat the strewn about crackers and cheese. Blankets were on the couch and floor (how many did they really need for just the two of them?!?!?), pillows on the floor and couch...in short, the place was a total mess. And they were going to leave it that way?!?! I kind of blew a gasket. I told (screamed) that they needed to pick the place up or we were not going ANYWHERE. They did...begrudgingly. And each blaming the other for what was out of place and who should have to put the dishes in the dishwasher.

Mind you I am no clean freak - by any sense of the imagination (or even stretching the imagination). But I do like to have my piles put in place. :) I admit I have piles everywhere. We ran our errands, visited my parents (grabbed dinner)...and returned home sort of late. I went to bed before the kids did. I wanted to read and they wanted to stay up since it was fall break.

When I woke the living room was meticulously cleaned and every thing was put in place. Even the Halloween decorations were up. (I didn't do that).  I think the cleaning fairy came. She even cleaned out my refridgerator! I'm pretty sure the cleaning fairy looks a lot like my daughter. Maybe the Momster should come out a little more often. I like waking to this clean house! 

Just enough to be dangerous

Most of my life I have been a student. A student of life. A student of terms. A student of experiences. A student of people. And usually the phrase that my Grandma told me when I graduated High School bounces off the inside of my brain like there's nothing else there. "The more you learn the more you realize you have to learn." I hated it then. Because I thought I was so darn smart for having just graduated and thought I knew everything there was to know in the world. 

But I didn't know anything then. I've realized that my Grandma was a wise woman and a student in life as well. So what exactly have I been striving to learn? I'm not sure. As each and every whim of something interesting blows into my way, I want to learn as much as I can about it to be dangerous.  

I have come to believe that I could have a conversation with almost anyone. If I can just be curious enough to find out what their life is about. No one has just the story they are telling you or what they are showing on the outside. We all come FROM something and most of the time we are all STRIVING to be something else. When we learn that very few of us are happy to just "be" as we are - but looking for the next thing, I believe we can help each other. 

If each of us can contribute just enough - as a force together - we could all be DANGEROUS (in a good way).  Watch out world - HERE I COME. I am lucky enough to have lots of people contributing their just enoughs...

Here Comes The Boom

Have you ever felt so strongly about someone or something that you would literally fight about it? That is what the movie Here Comes The Boom starring Kevin James and Bas Rutten is really all about. In the movie, the school that Mr. Voss (James) teaches at is facing cuts that could impact the job of  Marty (Henry Winkler), the music teacher. Mr. Voss chooses to fight in the MMA ring to raise money to protect his friend's job.

It is not often that movie stars happen into a hotel in Denver. I was able to sit down and ask them some questions about the film. Yes, that really is Kevin James and Bas Rutten I am standing between!

I took a couple young friends with me to the movie, so I could get their take on the movie and they could give me questions to ask.

I was a little concerned about the MMA violence for my young friends. They assured me that it was not "too much" and they enjoyed the movie and the action very much.

Yes, James trained as an MMA participant.
Yes, Ruttan really talks like that (no fake accent). No, James wasn't in band or played an instrument.
Yes, Ruttan is superstitious - he used to always fight with his rubber ducky nearby.

Honestly, this movie just feels good in reminding us all to fight for something  and help fellow mankind. I was a little sad that my kids were with their dad on the day that I went to see the movie, but I'm pretty sure we will need to see this one again. It Opens in theaters this Friday, October 12.

Sunday's Personal Church

I do this thing on Sunday mornings. I have been doing it intermittently for a couple years now. I love to go on a long hike. I enjoy being outside and I let my music just go - as if it was speaking to me - whatever I really need to hear that week. Or something I have to think on or learn in my life. Most of the time, this is the way for me to really escape daily life and feel my strength or to think on something that is bothering me or making little sense.

Some of my friends know I do this. Some do not. It really isn't for them. It is wholly devoted to myself. I love to go on Sunday. I call it my personal church. I can be outside in the elements (today it was sunny and nice - not too warm and not too cold - although the afternoon clouds were rolling in when I was getting off the mountain) and have some alone time. I am also reminded that I am capable when I hike. I am able to hike and move and sing and listen and see nature....

Today I was contemplating why I can't seem to let something go. I continue to hang on to something that is long over and done. The revelation came to me to just be patient. I am not at the spot that God really needs me in yet. I am not fully developed (not that I think I really ever will be). But I know that God has made me for excatly what I am meant to be. In the timing that is right for me He gives me what and who I need. I can not force things and/or people that were not meant to be a part of my life to be in it. I can not make someone else think or do something. I must be patient. Perfect is coming. 

I looked in

I live in an apartment complex. When I go to get the mail, I have to take a walk from the back of the complex to the front. I can't say that I really make an effort to look (or not) in the open windows of my neighbors homes. 

I don't think I like the idea that anyone else would do the same to me. I close the windows at night and hope that all anyone could see in is a sliver of light. Something that may say that I am home, but not what I'm doing inside (which usually involves me watching TV, playing on the computer or cooking).

But I can't help it. I do. I look into my neighbors homes. I wonder as I walk by, if that really is just normal life for them. Have they decorated similarly to me? How can a place that is EXACTLY like mine look nothing like mine? Do the people inside know that I wish for a moment I could be in their house? Do they know that I wish I knew what they were talking about? Do they know that they look so sweet having dinner - with the candle flickering on the table between them? Do they know that someone else wishes they had that kind of life. 

I am not saying that I don't like the life that I have. (I actually quite enjoy it and like to brag about it on Facebook). I am blessed to be able to get to see and do the things that I do. But, I can't help but think a bit on what other people see in my window when they walk by. Do they wonder where I am when I'm not there? Do they care? Do they see me laughing with my kids and hope that they had the same relationship with theirs?

I looked in to their life. I liked what I saw. But what I liked even more was when I looked into my own (did some self exploration) and realized that I don't need anything else right now.

Look again

I look again. I re-read it and check the posts one more time. As if by looking one more time it would say or mean something different. It doesn't I know that. I think it is really clear. I don't want it. I want to believe the other things that I have made up in my head. I want to believe the fairy tale. I want to understand something completely different. 

I want something magical to pop up when I least expect it. I want some other outcome. So this time when I look, I will have to look somewhere else. For something else. No matter what, it will be what I make it. Hopefully this time I can make it for EXACTLY what it is and not what it in my head. 

I'm funny

I think I have a future as a comedian. At least I think I'm funny. I like to make the people around me laugh. I can't say that I really even TRY. I just am. That usually means that when there is a group photo, I'm the one with my mouth wide open. I can't just stand there and smile. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. I say silly things and ask weird questions. oh well. It's who I AM.  

 

It is funny. People laugh and seem to have fun when they are around me. So, who cares if it is a little weird?

Lost & Found

My son had this really amazing lunchbox to start the year. It was insulated and when you put it in the freezer, the sidewalls would become frozen blocks - no inserts needed. It was really cool. Even he said it was cool. 

 

I mean, it was no superhero's tin sidewall lunchbox like I used to have but, it was cool to him. 

He lost it. First week of school. He tells me he stops by the Lost & Found daily looking for it. He eagle-eyes the other kids in school to see if they have somehow started using HIS lunch box as their own. He is sort of distraught about this lunch box!
 
I don't really remember picking out my own Super Friends lunchbox or thinking it was all that cool. I remember having it. I remember being defined by the new lunchbox I had or the new backpack or the new coat. 

I can recall making the trip to the mall (or to the BIG City when we lived in Steamboat we would make the three-hour drive to Denver) to get school supplies and clothes in the fall. This usually meant that my mom would put what seemed like a boat-load of clothes on lay-away in early August and we would finally get them out some time in September. It was kind of like a second Christmas. But, my sister and I knew that whatever we chose would have to last for a whole year. But, I digress.

Clothes or lunchbox when you add it up is not a significant spend (or at least it doesn't have to be). But these items so define a kid in school. So...Do I buy my son another lunchbox? Or let him deal with the horror of being seen with one that is sooo last year (in fact it IS last year - we bought it then and it somehow didn't get lost in the first week of school - we had it all year plus the summer)? Does anyone know where I can get him a Super Friends lunch tin? I think I must have lost it.  

Breckenridge Oktoberfest

I keep saying to people that I lead an amazing life. That I get to do fun things. But then when I try to talk through them or explain, I have the hardest time. So, I've decided that I will start talking about the fun and random moments in my life.

This last weekend I got to go to Oktoberfest in Breckenridge, CO. The event takes up the entire Main Street in Breckenridge. I was invited to come up by my friend Rachel, who is the PR Director for the town of Breckenridge (THANKS RACHEL). She set me up with four beer steins and four drink tickets.

I invited my fun friend Rachel (a different Rachel) to join me. My friend Janette lives up there, so I called and asked if she would like to meet up for lunch. She said yes. I had only met Janette one other time - when I went to Breckenridge for a FAM trip. (I'll tell you about that another time). I also had my friend Bill meet us up there - and he brought his girlfriend too...(more on that another time too I guess - as if there is much to say about it)....

We drank beers all afternoon! Rachel figured out a way to pick up tickets from the ground and re-use them and Janette knew someone at the VIP area. Plus, Rachel kind of talked someone at the VIP area to give us his pass as he was leaving for the day.  

 After Oktoberfest and all the drinking (we started at 11) we went to J's condo. Hung out for just a few minutes before deciding that we needed to go get something to eat. As we were leaving the room, we met a guy who was going into his place across the hall. Not really sure what happened, but we ended up going into his condo - sitting on his counter and talking. We asked him to go with us to dinner. Yes, all three girls and this random guy who we didn't know. We went to a mexican place. The food there was awful. 

After dinner, we went up to Jack & something (Ok, I totally forgot the name but we had met Jack, one of the owners earlier in the day). Jack remembered us and brought us shots. Shortly thereafter, we went downstairs to Cecilia's to dance. The guy that had stuck around with us from dinner was becoming annoying.  Rach and I totally ditched him at the club - or not, but we ignored him. We danced the night away with a group of 5 guys. They all seemed pretty nice, but we surmised later, that they were probably married (or at least some of them). Cause they didn't ask for numbers or anything.

I act like I'm all outgoing girl - and I am (for the most part) but, when it comes to guys - they still have to ask me for my number. They have to make the first moves. It is what it is.

Take a Risk

It occurred to me tonight, as I sat through a presentation about a communication workshop. Trying to define what I am really missing in my life and drilling down to the meat of what I have and don't have in my life. I think I'm pretty clear on what I don't have. I've also done my part in trying to determine why I believe the things that I do and what is behind those thoughts. 

While I was there, I explained where I am with what I wanted to "work on" (my career).  There was a part of the workshop that asked us to really define what we are doing, what we have (the results) and being. In response I really replied that I am jumping off the corporate train into the world of individual sales. I am enjoying the perks of the job (lunches, time off etc). Which means that I have lack of clients, that I have fear, that I don't have money in the bank, that I have unresolved debt. I then am left being kind of lazy, kind of fearful, kind of still in debit,....

When I was leaving, I met another person who told me that she just wanted to say hello to me as what I had said had so closely echoed her own experience. When she went on to explain, I realized that indeed we have several similarities. Which gave me ponderance to think about why I feel the way I do. (which amazingly - is EXACTLY the outcome they wanted to happen).

When you wrap your thoughts around what might or might not be true in your world - you create you own type of reality. While the events have an element of truth to them - they also have a truth to what you emotionally attach to them. What you make up in your head about what you believe about yourself or what you believe of others or even what others believe of you...is largely made up in your head. 

This can have an effect in many areas of your life. And perhaps when you apply the principles of it to your life your life can become more fulfilling all the way around. Opening up that thought process and knowing why you believe something can help you get to the bottom of it to change it. To make it a brighter point of truth and hope.  

But the reality of this thought process has me thinking in so many other areas of my life that could  benefit from this type of thinking. From a renewed sense of where I can really go if I don't attach negative thoughts and behaviors behind myself. That I don't listen to the little voice in my head that says no - but rather teach it to be friends with the voice that says anything is possible. That you are good at what you have chosen to do. That you are perfect exactly the way you are - and if others can't see that...well that is their problem.

Take a risk - believe that ANYTHING is possible. That the rules that you have believed about yourself in your head - just are not true. That those rules don't apply to you. You can do what you want. You will succeed in whatever you set your mind to. That you can set the nay-sayers right.

how can you know me?

Random rants in my head and what I really want to believe. I want to be able to go up to you and just kiss you in front of her. show her that you might live with her  - but really your heart is with me. You never can let me really out of your head. I am your kryptonite. I am someone you feel really comfortable with. You may really think that you have so much in common with her - but you won't learn anything new. 

But them I'm rude to do that too. Because I don't really want you. I want you because I don't have someone else and I am afraid of being alone. But you are not right for me. You never will be. You challenge me. You make me think about what a good fit you are for me. 

But you don't really know me. Because I don't really know me either. I don't know me either. I have tried so hard to be what someone else wanted me to me and now I'm on a hunt to find out who I am. Who I am meant to be with.Who will be my perfect match. Who will fit into my world as well as I would fit into his.

Ready or Not

Do you remember playing hide and seek when you were younger, when someone (the seeker) would bellow, "Ready or not here I come?" Little did I know that this simple phrase would hold so much meaning for the rest of my life. 

Sometimes I want to hide from my problems, issues and insecurities. I don't know what to do with my thoughts and feelings. I would rather not deal with "bad stuff" in my life - and hide from it and hope that it might just go away altogether! But then someone or some thing screams from somewhere else saying, "Here I come!" 

My life has not come pre-packaged the way I wanted it to. It rarely turns out as I planned (or at least as easily as I had hoped). I can recall the visions I had for my future life from the view of a teen, and then as a young adult, and now as one who is a mom to teenagers myself. I had a vision that I think is like what many other people wish. I didn't really dream to be a rock star or a famous actress. I just wanted a simple life. That never really materialized for me (neither did the rock star or actress thing). Although sometimes it was sort of close...close enough to let me believe that it was within reach.

What I realize now is that life was simply teaching me a lesson that I would have to learn over and over again - and just now am beginning to surrender to. One that says - BE OPEN, seize the opportunity when it is handed to you. No, my life is not what I expected. Some parts not as great, but many so much better.

I am blessed to take the opportunities that I am handed and let myself meander among amazing opportunities that would fulfill someone else's complete bucket list. I am ready to embark on yet another. I am ready...or not....either way here it comes.

Just Living Life

Ha ha. That title kind of makes me laugh. Because I don't believe that my life is really in any way "just living" as most other people might describe it. 

I get to do amazing things like going to sneak previews of movies (too many to count), special dinners, special trips, free tickets to sports games, sitting in private suites, VIP treatments...I don't really want to give any of that up. I like it. I like living a life that is beyond what most people describe as normal. I want to fully take advantage of it. Because I know that I am not always going to be offered these types of opportunities. 

But then there are things that are sooo normal that I pine for. Something that most people would not think much out of the ordinary. I want someone to share my great perks with (someone to do stuff with). I want a home of my own. I want my kids to grow up to be great and generous people. I want true friends. I want to smile and laugh. I want freedom. I want to feel like I belong. I want to be a part of something bigger.

Why is my "just living life" so much different from someone else's? I know I shouldn't compare. I can't help it. I want it. 

Can you really have it all?

I don't really believe that you can have it all. I have found that you can either have things going well in your business life or you can have things going well in your personal life but you can't have it all. And when your life is in shambles....well...you can't have it all so you have to figure out which one to focus on.

Right when I make the decision to focus on one part of my life things start to go well there - the other part still in the back of my head. The other one hoovering just below the surface. I try to focus on the things that I do have control over - but realize that I don't have any control at all. I don't have control of who will hire me. I don't have control over who will love me. I don't know the timeline. I wish I could make it all happen in my timeline - but the more I wish and plan the further any of that seems to reality. 

I am sad. I am fearful. I am happy. I am hopeful. I feel like I have nothing to hang on to. Just when I think I have life figured out - I have found that I know NOTHING. I have nothing. I am....lost.

Living in the Grey

I have a hard time living in the Grey. No, I'm not talking about the best seller, Fifty Shades of Grey although I've read it (or at least the first one). I have been blessed to live a life that has had some fantastic ups and devastating lows (If my life was a personality type I might be classified as manic-depressive). 

I laugh a bit as the biggest example happened to me over the summer. One weekend I was treated as a total VIP in Las Vegas (picked up in a limo, taken out to dinners, golf, huge room, bell people at my disposal, VIP bank of elevator too!) and then the next weekend, I was staying with my friend at her cabin in Wyoming (no indoor plumbing). That is where I live my life - at either extreme. 

I have lived on a high of getting nearly every wish I had hoped for and then stayed just long enough to see the whole thing crumble into a mess that I'm still trying to dig out from. I know that I am not the first or only woman who has had to deal with issues like divorce, unemployment, and being scared and feeling utterly alone (and I had all of the bad happen to me all at once, fun stuff)!

But I've come to realize that my bad is nothing compared to what some other women deal with. I had heard it a million times before - blah, blah all about attitude. But then I am constantly being told that I am one of the most positive people that many people know. I honestly believe that things will go my way. I believe that what I have is enough. What I need is nothing more than my basic needs being met. I don't need the trappings of labels, big homes or fancy cars. I need to know that I am making a difference in the lives of the people that mean most to me. That meant that I had to drill down who meant most. 

So grey? I don't live there. I don't like normal. I like happy. I like extreme. I like not being tethered to someone else's idea of what my life should look like and what my reaction to it should be. I am finally done with should, could and would. You can keep them. I am into DO these days. If you think that is extreme. So be it. I live and love in the extreme.